Good Clean Fun – Jokes & Stories…

Good Clean Fun – Jokes & Stories…

We’ve had some very serious discussions recently, and I’ve come to the conclusion  that –  as I would just LOVE to say straight to Pope Francis’ face  – “enough is enough!” 

It’s a while since we’ve had a fun thread so – without further ado – here’s a short video clip to kick start what I hope will be a good, clean, fun-filled conversation to lighten the atmosphere a little.  Some of the cracks in the Groucho Marx video below are local but the overall effect is hilarious.  Enjoy.

And don’t forget to share your own favourite video clips, jokes and funny stories – as long as it fits the description “good clean fun” we want to enjoy it too 😀

Comments (60)

  • Athanasius

    This puts me in mind of the story Gerald Warner told of the late Cardinal Winning. It seems the Cardinal was visiting a hospital ward for sick elderly gentlemen and as he went round the beds the first patient he stopped at said “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Eminence.” “Not at all”, said the Cardinal, “and please call me Tom”. At the next bed, the man said pleased to meet you, Cardinal,” to which the Cardinal responded “please, it’s Tom. Don’t trouble yourself with the Cardinal stuff.” This went on three or four times at different beds until, at length, as the Cardinal was leaving the ward a skeletal hand reached up from the bed near the door and took hold of his arm. Pulling the Cardinal down close to him, the emaciated figure in the bed said “that’s what I like about you Tom, yiv goat nae dignity.”

    November 4, 2014 at 12:43 am
  • Pat McKay

    Fidelis – is it true that anyone who supports Hibs or Hearts secretly wishes they lived in Glesca?

    November 4, 2014 at 10:24 am
  • Pat McKay

    THE HAIRCUT

    One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
    After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I
    cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’
    The florist was pleased and left the shop.

    When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
    ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
    Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
    the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing
    community service this week.’
    The cop was happy and left the shop.

    The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a
    ‘thank you ‘ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
    Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his
    bill , the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m
    doing community service this week.’
    The politician was very happy and left the shop.

    The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
    politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

    And that, my dear people, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

    BOTH POLITICIANS AND NAPPIES NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN – AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

    November 4, 2014 at 10:35 am
  • crofterlady

    A Dominican and a Jesuit were on retreat.

    The Dominican asked the retreat master if he could smoke while he prayed. “Certainly not came the stern reply”.

    The Jesuit cogitated for a while and then asked the retreat master if he could pray while he smoked. “Of course, came the reply. One can pray at all times”.

    November 4, 2014 at 11:43 am
  • Pat McKay

    Somewhere in the backwoods of Co. Louth, Michael goes to confession…‘Bless me father, for I have sinned, I’ve been beddin’ a married woman’…

    ‘God forgive ye’, says Father O’Flynn, the rather crusty old priest….’tis a mortal sin – and I’ll need to be knowin’ the name o’ that misbegotten creature ye’ve been carryin’ on wit. Now was it Sheila O’Toole?’…

    ‘Oh, please father’, replies Michael,…’I couldn’t be tellin’ ye that now, it would be most dishonourable of me’….

    ‘It’ll be much better for ye if ye do’, says the priest…’now was it Mary Murphy?’….

    ‘Please, please, father’ replies Michael….’don’t be makin me do dis, it would be such a betrayal’….

    ‘Well, have it yer own way’, says the priest…’ye can say a Novena of Rosaries for yer penance’…

    Some time later in town, Michael bumps into his very close friend Seamus. ‘Well, how did it go wit Father O’Flynn?’… asks Seamus.

    ‘Oh, fine’, replies Michael…’I got a Novena – and a couple o’ good leads’…..

    November 4, 2014 at 3:14 pm
    • Pat McKay

      On a more serious note, maybe this is something ‘Aunt Evangeline’ could help us with…

      Supposing Michael’s ‘misbegotten creature’ was a non-Catholic, who was in her ‘second marriage’ (a registry office job, which many would argue is no marriage at all). Would that make the sin any ‘less sinful’?

      November 4, 2014 at 4:31 pm
      • editor

        Pat,

        I’ll have to pass that dilemma on to Aunt Evangeline, personally. I have a feeling she’d enjoy answering!

        November 4, 2014 at 8:53 pm
  • jobstears

    A Franciscan and Jesuit were walking in the park when Jimmy approached them and asked if they could make a novena so he could get a Mercedes Benz. The Franciscan asked, “What is a Mercedes Benz?”, and the Jesuit asked, “What is a novena?”

    November 4, 2014 at 3:30 pm
    • editor

      Jobstears,

      Why do I get the feeling that is more true to life than most jokes? 😀

      November 4, 2014 at 8:54 pm
  • Pat McKay

    A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music. In the time of the prophet, he went on, there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

    The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.

    The Arab Muslim asked him, “What are you doing?”

    The cabbie answered, “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so bog off and wait for a camel..”

    November 4, 2014 at 4:06 pm
  • editor

    Reminder…

    I have now closed the October threads – this one last of all to allow visitors time to visit Last Chance Saloon… cue for a pub joke…

    A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “Do you have any helicopter flavoured potato chips?” The bartender shakes his head and says, “No, we only have plain.”

    Back to the serious stuff folks!

    November 4, 2014 at 4:18 pm

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