Recently, blogger RCA Victor suggested:
Editor,
Just for a little comic relief, you should post a thread asking what are the most outlandish, mind-bending, reality-denying PC quotes we’ve ever heard…
Glad to oblige! It’s a while since we’ve had a fun thread – so, once again, as well as the outlandish PC nonsense suggested by RCA Victor, feel free to post some jokes and comical stories – always, of course, in the “good clean fun” category… Enjoy!
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Comments (22)
Here’s one in the ‘outlandish’ category, no doubt about it!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OxkTzoq1MBU/UTiiVlVJ8yI/AAAAAAAAaCk/V3p3wpSaKYU/s400/1bepoliticallyincorrectCOLCP.jpg
Thank you, Editor, for indulging me…
Probably my favorite spoof of political correctness is a brilliant little book called “Politically Correct Bedtime Stories,” by James Finn Garner. This book is available as a download on line, and contains PC versions of Little Red Riding Hood, The Emperor’s New Clothes, The Three Little Pigs, Rumpelstiltskin, The Three Codependent Goats Gruff, Rapunzel, Goldilocks, Snow White, Chicken Little, The Frog Prince, and the Pied Piper of Hamelin.
Here’s an except from his Little Red Riding Hood:
“On her way to Grandma’s house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a wolf, who asked her what was in her basket. She replied, ‘Some healthful snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult.’
The wolf said, ‘You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone.’
Red Riding Hood said, ‘I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.’
Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path. But, because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the wolf knew a quicker route to Grandma’s house. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on Grandma’s nightclothes and crawled into bed.”
Come to think of it, this reminds me of much of the gibberish that spills out of Pope Francis’ mouth…
RCA Victor,
Hilarious!
I found this on a ‘politically incorrect’ jokes site – thought of your right away!
“A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant. And in the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant. ”
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Editor,
Michael Jackson, RIP, might disagree with that last sentence! Ever heard of “We Are the World”? (Don’t worry, I won’t post the video…)
Haha I love it! You hear that kind of nonsense all the time.
I can’t think of anything PC myself but I thought this was really funny online
“The red cross knocked at my door asking if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan . I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the bottom of the driveway.”
This is one of the most ridiculous over-the-top PC stories I’ve ever heard of.
“Administrators at a California high school sent five students home after they refused to remove their American flag T-shirts on Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican Day of Independence. That’s right, kids, you can’t wear your country’s flag in your country, lest it offend someone celebrating the holiday of a different country. The story began when Assistant Principal, Miguel Rodriguez, asked two of the five teens to remove their American flag bandanas. The boys complied, but were still taken to the principal’s office for a chat. One of the boys told NBC “They said we could wear it on any other day, but today is sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it’s supposed to be their holiday, so we were not allowed to wear it.” They are right. It might be a little insensitive to wear an American flag shirt on Cinco De Mayo– if we were in MEXICO.
And it is an important holiday—IN MEXICO. School District Superintendent Wesley Smith later described the incident as “extremely unfortunate” and said the matter is still under investigation.”
I think that’s totally mad. The other example that I remember was on the blog recently, where the students at Edinburgh University are having to wear badges called pronoun badges, showing HE/SHE/THEY to show they are pro-transgenderism. How ridiculous.
LOL! They are all really funny examples. Here’s one from Australia that took my breath away – the feminist ones always do.
In 2007, Santa Clauses in Sydney, Australia, were forced to revolt for the right to say “Ho Ho Ho”, the traditional laugh of jolly old St. Nick. It turns out that their employer, the recruitment firm Westaff (that supplies hundreds of Santas across Australia), told all trainees that “ho ho ho” could frighten children and be derogatory to women. Why? Because it was too close to the American (not Australian, mind you) slang for prostitute. Instead, the Santas were instructed to lower their voices and say “Ha ha ha”. Westaff relented only after the story broke nationally, deciding to leave the belly laughs “up to the discretion of Santa himself “.
A favourite of mine (and you don’t even need to know the Avril Lavigne song in question) –
https://pics.me.me/he-was-a-boy-she-wasa-girl-did-you-just-17008144.png
When a society is heteronormative, it promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation. Heteronormative customs can often neglect the needs of those who are not heterosexual or identify with the gender binary. Gendered public bathrooms are the most common example of a heteronormative custom that oppresses queer sexual and gender identities.
I found that on a site with this image underneath the above statement, LOL!
https://img03.deviantart.net/10c7/i/2015/002/8/d/boys_can_be_princesses_too___inspired_by_thomas_s__by_gracedoesart-d8cahlr.png
All great fun, so far – thank you RCA Victor, for the suggestion to post this thread. I think we could all use a bit of a laugh… And probably nobody more than Archbishop Vigano – maybe we should send him the link!
Just wondering if we could perhaps start another topic on what our bloggers are reading at the moment? Spiritual reading that is. I could start off by saying that I am loving Cardinal Sarah’s book on Silence. It is beautifully written, perceptive, and does bring home the need for quiet in this clamorous world of ours.
Well timed, request, Elizabeth – I’ve just been trying to think of a good, spiritual, topic – we need fun and some (other) help with our spiritual sustenance. So, hold fire, folks. I will post that thread shortly using Elizabeth’s request to kick start the topic.
In the meantime, Elizabeth, maybe you will post YOUR most outlandish PC quote on this thread – that IS the topic, after all! Fair’s fair!
I will if I can find something! Shouldn’t be too difficult.
Another excerpt from the book (The Emperor’s New Clothes):
“Far away, in a time long past, there lived a traveling tailor who found himself in an unfamiliar country. Now, tailors who move from place to place normally keep to themselves and are careful not to overstep the bounds of local decency. This tailor, though, was overly gregarious and decorum-challenged, and soon he was at a local inn, abusing alcohol, invading the personal space of the female employees, and telling unenlightened stories about tinkers, dung-gatherers, and other tradespeople.
The innkeeper complained to the police, who grabbed the tailor and dragged him in front of the emperor. As you might expect, a lifetime of belief in the legitimacy of the monarchy and in the inherent superiority of males had turned the emperor into a vain and wisdom-challenged tyrant.
The tailor noticed these traits and decided to use them to his advantage. The emperor asked, ‘Do you have any last requests before I banish you from my domain forever?’
The tailor replied, ‘Only that your majesty allow me the honor of crafting a new royal wardrobe. For I have brought with me a special fabric that is so rare and fine that it can be seen only by certain people – the type of people you’d want to have in your realm – people who are politically correct, morally righteous, intellectually astute, culturally tolerant, and who don’t smoke, drink, laugh at sexist jokes, watch too much television, listen to county music, or barbecue.’
After a moment’s thought, the emperor agreed to this request. He was flattered by the fascist and testosterone-heavy idea that the empire and its inhabitants existed only to make him look good. It would be like having a trophy wife and multiplying that feeling by 100,000.
Of course, no such rarefied fabric existed. Years of living outside the bounds of normal society had forced the tailor to develop his own moral code that obliged him to swindle and embarrass the emperor in the name of independent craftspeople everywhere. So, as he diligently labored, he was able to convince the emperor that he was cutting and sewing pieces of fabric that, in the strictest objective sense of reality, didn’t exist….”
Juslt copied these from the New York Times. The last one is my all-time favourite example of PC lunacy.
Washington State Prisons Refer to Inmates as ‘Students’
There’s no question the words “prisoner” and “inmate” have negative connotations; that’s one incentive for people to avoid breaking the law, so they don’t end up with those labels. But the Washington State Department of Corrections has taken things to an absurd level, by now referring to inmates as “students.” KIRO 7 in Seattle reported the change in policy last fall, noting that it now applies to all inmates, including the so-called Green River Killer, Gary Ridgway. The most prolific serial killer in U.S. history — he may have killed more than 90 people — Ridgway is now a “student” at Walla Walla’s
Washington State Penitentiary.Seattle Police Can’t Use Word ‘Suspects’ in Reports
Seattle Police Department officers who fill out reports can no longer use the word “suspect.” Instead, they must use the term “community member.” The change, first reported by Seattle media in early 2017, has upset many police officers, who must use the term even in “use of force” reports. After three officers were shot responding to an armed robbery in April, they were required to refer to the shooter as a “community member.” “I think this is all in an effort to make sure our report writing sounds politically correct,” Seattle Police Officers’ Guild Kevin Stuckey told KIRO 7 TV.
Doctors’ Group Discourages Use of Term ‘Expectant Mother’
The U.S. isn’t the only country where political correctness has spiraled out of control. The British Medical Association told its members in 2017 that the term “expectant mother” should be avoided because it might offend transgender people. Instead, the preferred term is “pregnant people.” But women’s rights activist Laura Perrins told the Daily Mail the action is ”anti-science, anti-women and anti-mother … This will offend women up and down the country, and is an example of the majority of women being insulted for a tiny minority of people.”
When I was working for the Dept for Work & Pensions, the political correctness was unbearable. Diwali celebrations were arranged for the staff (I refused to go). Expensive glossy tax-payer funded calendars used to come round every year, highlighting such thrilling events as ‘LGBT’ month and important dates such as Haile Selassie’s birthday (straight in the bin). We were also forced to call benefit claimants ‘customers’, which was ridiculous. There were many occasions when I would have liked to have told some of them to take their ‘custom’ elsewhere!
The Week picks up on the tendency to encourage “gender expression” which is leading to dangerous situations in our prisons since so called trans” prisoners who have been accused of rape have been housed in women’s prisons. Sexual assaults against female prisoners have occurred. The paper comments:” Confining a rapist in a woman’s prison, among vulnerable inmates including rape victims is like locking a Fox in a henhouse, even if he identifies as a hen!!”
Since today is “Speak Like a Pirate Day,” I wondered about politically correct piracy (not plagiarism, that is…). Lo and behold:
https://www.palmbeachpost.com/travel/politically-correct-pirates-disney-changing-scene-iconic-attraction/8OU3uhaD3ApH6qLRGbWjfK/
Oops, instead of “Lo and behold,” considering what today is, I should have said “Argh, matey!”
Madame Editor,
An American priest visiting Glasgow wanted to see a his first football match so he joined a queue at a turnstile. He asked a man next to him if he was a Catholic, to which he replied that he certainly was, after all wasn’t he a Celtic supporter? The priest asked him if he attended Mass, and the man said not. Then he reiterated that although he was a Catholic, he wasn’t a fanatic.
Talk about Catholics in name only!
Leprechaun,
You may have heard or read that story recounted as a joke but it actually reflects the reality of the situation. If everyone who attends Celtic Park on Saturdays, attended Mass on Sundays, we’d need to build new churches, not amalgamate and sell off the ones we already have right now!
Anyway, great to have you back among us – stick around now!
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